Another myth I'd like to debunk is the notion of deserving.
How many times have you heard: "You deserve a great relationship", "You deserve a better partner",...?
I don't think deserving has anything to do with it. Of course we can all have a good relationship. It's totally within the realm of what is possible. But I don't believe that it's something you have to earn. It's not as if you need to be on good behavior, accumulate brownie points, and then you are worthy. Having a good relationship is not based on merit; it's based on our ability to create for ourselves. And what gets in our way when we create? Scripts/buttons/triggers/faulty beliefs that lead to ineffective choices. (More on that some other time.)
