Missed cues?

How many of us have misread cues? Even if the other person is the brave one, we don’t always know they’re initiating. And then they’re hurt and not in such a big hurry to do it again.

Motivations for initiating

There are many motivations for initiating sex. We may want validation that we’re desirable, that if an attractive person wants to have sex with us that makes us attractive by association, or constitutes another notch in the bedpost. We may want to express love to our beloved. We may want him to stop nagging and pouting and get off our back, so to speak. We may want to connect physically and feel their skin, smell them, hold them… We may be anxious and use sex as a pacifier. We may just be horny. There’s no right or wrong reason to initiate. I just encourage you be straight with yourself about where you’re coming from.
How many of us have misread cues

Some guys bounce back

And it’s fraught with peril. Sex is vulnerable, and being rejected sexually is the worst kind of rejection. Some of us are more resilient than others. Some guys bounce back and just keep putting it out there, based on the law of probability they figure that eventually they’ll get a green light. And some people pack up their toys and go home after one attempt.

"If you ask, I'll say 'yes' "

Women do still buy into the myth that it’s the man’s job (assuming heterosexual couples) to start things. But women underestimate the role of inviting. When a man is reluctant to initiate for fear of being turned down, I tell his partner to say to him: “If you ask, I’ll say ‘yes’”. Letting the other person know you won’t turn them down is initiating, and empowers your partner to do it more, based on a track record of positive experiences.

Initiating Intimacy

INITIATING
Somebody’s got to do it, to get the show on the road. Somebody has to go out on the skinny branches and risk being rejected. Somebody simply has to go first, to make things happen. If sexual congress is going to take place, someone has to reach out towards the other person. There’s no way around it. When I ask my clients who initiates, they often don’t know…or they think they both do. Sometimes one person thinks they’re the one who initiated, while the other person wants the credit for it.

The LIST

Taking the time to get clear about THE LIST is committing to being open to meeting the best possible mate for you. Having Dr Six ask you all the relevant questions can help you to create THE LIST.
Are you a morning person? What are your preferences in terms of personal time? Personal space? Food? Relationship with exes? ...