Assumptions that create distance

If your partner doesn’t get the cue nor know the codeword, what do you do with that? Do you assume you’re no longer desirable? They’re having an affair? They’re flawed somehow, frigid, impotent? They’re ‘addicted’ to web porn? I’ve heard so many hurt and angry women diagnose their husbands as such because they feel rejected. And yes, it is easier to masturbate to porn than deal with a real live woman on the other end of your penis. Sometimes these guys have given up, or they’re withholding to yank her chain. I try to help them find a way back to their wife, to the love and connection, and to the courage to re‐open their heart and risk. And I also talk to the wife about not making him wrong and pushing him away, and about being a soft place to land emotionally.