"If you ask, I'll say 'yes' "

Women do still buy into the myth that it’s the man’s job (assuming heterosexual couples) to start things. But women underestimate the role of inviting. When a man is reluctant to initiate for fear of being turned down, I tell his partner to say to him: “If you ask, I’ll say ‘yes’”. Letting the other person know you won’t turn them down is initiating, and empowers your partner to do it more, based on a track record of positive experiences.

Initiating Intimacy

INITIATING
Somebody’s got to do it, to get the show on the road. Somebody has to go out on the skinny branches and risk being rejected. Somebody simply has to go first, to make things happen. If sexual congress is going to take place, someone has to reach out towards the other person. There’s no way around it. When I ask my clients who initiates, they often don’t know…or they think they both do. Sometimes one person thinks they’re the one who initiated, while the other person wants the credit for it.